1. My ipod has gone to the doctor's.

1.1. I will miss him or her for a fucking month.

1.2 Maybe I'll buy a new 160gb one.

1.21 That's what I really want.

2. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just don't like most people.

2.1. I'm considered pretentious, but I don't think I'm better than most people...just a lot of them.

2.2. Buying me Tanqueray and tonic will not get me in your bed.

2.3. Lying about your life and who you are may get you in my bed...but I don't do one night stands and liars tend to be just that.

2.32. Everyone is a liar.

2.4. Army men are aggressive.

2.41. Its rather unfortunate how many sheep follow the wolf.

2.411. The wolf would not exist without the sheep.

2.412. The wolf never realizes that wolves can be sheep.

2.5. I like educated men who know how to speak and write/ type.

2.51. I like ________.

2.511. That is probably not you.

2.512. I'm consider pretentious.

2.5112. But, that doesn't mean it cannot be you.

3. I believe in karma.

3.1. Most people never get what they deserve.

3.12. Most people get too much of what they don't deserve.

4. I'm OCD

4.1. I don't like people fucking my shit up just to get rid of my ocd.

4.2. I enjoy Purell.

4.21. As well as Altoids.

4.211. Garlic or dip does not lead to flattering breath.

4.2111. No one night stands.

5. I don't want to write my thesis

5.1. I enjoy research and reading and writing.

5.11. I never like to start

6. I am an enabler.

6.1. I quit smoking.

6.2. I can pay for my own drinks.

6.21. I like gin and tonic.

6.22. Tanqueray may get me drunk.

6.221. Tanqueray won't get you in my bed.

6.222. Unless I want you.

6.23. Unless you spiked the drink.

7. [insert something profound] or insert nothing at all