Lover deer are cool but it sounds like school really needs to start- did you have white zinfandel that evening? I'm sad that you drank without you're lovers...doesn't school seem like it was a couple of years ago at this point? They don't fucking have white zin here and i'm getting sick of white, you know my fondness for white zinfandel:)

My birthday is September 27, 1984. i am such a youngun here everyone is atleast a couple of years older than me.

So Saturday night we all went barhopping and met these overly enthusiastic norwegians bought us some weird yellow shots but were too pussy to drink them themselves so that really fucked me up, especially bc i'm been doing johnny walker shots practically every time we go out...i'm not sure why but i don't have to chase it so i suppose it works. either that or i make it work. whats going on with project runway, i need to know whos been elimated ( i suppose I could just check it online but i like to complain about my western world deficiency too much:)

So after the crazy yellow shots we did some absynth ( even though they took out the halluciagenic shit) and i couldn't tell how much it fucked me up bc i followed it with many vodka tonics. Atleast I didn't throw up on my dinner like beamer benjaman. So after the absynth and such we went to another bar and some crazy man started dancing with me and grabbing my face and choking me and i ended up with a part of my front teeth being knocked out. Yes, an entire piece of my tooth is missing and all we can come up with as a solution is me using a nail file to shave my tooth down. the archaic nature of the health insurance plan here is basically for getting run over by trams or having rough anal sex and needing stiches or something. bc they don't give a shit about my tooth and i have lost all teeth confidence in myself.

So then I touched some cock in another bar, watched some dude strip and i touched his cock, and made out with this dude in the course and this chick as well in a bathroom. i touched a lot of boobies and made out with another chick. so overall it was pretty good i suppose but too much teasing for my taste.

Anyway it is still cold here, i'm wearing layers for fucks sake, and i have some pics but yet to put them up, if you want to see the crazy wild children of the corn i roll with checkem out on facebook in a couple days.

I've decided that for my yummy RFE student i am going to help him read an article on 30 things to do before you're 30 from GQ mag. Everything is pretty kosher except for the reference to blow and hash. haha well i'll just pretend i didn't notice it..."oh, Tosha, oh my what...and I grab it and stuff it into my bag. WHich will only spark his curiosity and we will probably spend some time discussing the positives and negatives of the way Czechs always mix hash with tobacco under all circumstances.

So i did smoke a little but only bc it was handed to me in a bar and i was told to take it and do with it what i may.


T: Why do you still haunt me?
Me: Who is this?
Me: T? Is that you?
T: Yes.


Me: I am so glad we are still friends. I really like you and am glad you are in my life.
T: I respectfully ask that you no longer contact me at all.


Husband to Wife: You're the rudest fucking bitch I've ever met.


Me: Sausage, Blue Cheese, Granny Smith Apple Omelet



Me: What's your name?
Guy: Montana.
Me: Really? I'm going to be inside of you soon.



Me: Porch Kitty you are my only friend. I almost died today.
(PK flutters away)
Me: You coy bitch.



Me: What do strawberries taste like?



D: I agree. You don't know what you've got till it's gone and you wouldn't have known otherwise. You're right, it may be even BETTER! I don't hate you. Resent, probably. Hate, definitely not. It's just that every time I start feeling better... "YOU CUT ME OPEN AND I KEEP BLEEDING, KEEP, KEEP BLEEDING LOVE." I'm tired of feeling down. I didn't make the decision. You did. So why then, do I have to suffer on a daily basis for your actions? Because I love you and have no other choice. Now who's pathetic? Let's just try and make the best of this situation and atleast lie to each other and say we're happy.


J: I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I am sorry to have to e-mail you this but I think it is best. I am trying to follow my mind and heart and not drag you along. I think on many levels you and I are very different. When I think about you I think you are a good guy but I dont think "hey I want to hang out with p today, it will be fun". I just dont feel the click between us. We have not hung out in a long time and when we finally did it was not that great. I know I was on the phone a bunch texting but we dont share enough in common to make a good conversation. I just dont want it to seem like I am ignoring you to be mean. I just dont know what to talk abut. I also have to be very honest and almost feel in my heart that you were the one to send those e-mails to me. The police wont tell me who it was but for some reason my spirit tells me it was you. I am not sure why but there were some things about the way he typed and wrote things thsat are very similar to the way you write. IF it was not you I am sorry. I am just saying how I feel. Anyway I wanted to level with you and tell you. I just dont see us hanging out in the future and stuff like that. I am sorry. I do wish the very best for you in life and know you will be just fine. Take care.


Me: I have a crush.
S: It's about time.
Me: I know. He doesn't drink.
S: Who does these days?
Me: No one and everyone.
S: Do you want another beer?
Me: Not really.
S: Yea, me either. Is he cute?
Me: Extremely.
S: Goodness.
Me: I know that's right.


1. My ipod has gone to the doctor's.

1.1. I will miss him or her for a fucking month.

1.2 Maybe I'll buy a new 160gb one.

1.21 That's what I really want.

2. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just don't like most people.

2.1. I'm considered pretentious, but I don't think I'm better than most people...just a lot of them.

2.2. Buying me Tanqueray and tonic will not get me in your bed.

2.3. Lying about your life and who you are may get you in my bed...but I don't do one night stands and liars tend to be just that.

2.32. Everyone is a liar.

2.4. Army men are aggressive.

2.41. Its rather unfortunate how many sheep follow the wolf.

2.411. The wolf would not exist without the sheep.

2.412. The wolf never realizes that wolves can be sheep.

2.5. I like educated men who know how to speak and write/ type.

2.51. I like ________.

2.511. That is probably not you.

2.512. I'm consider pretentious.

2.5112. But, that doesn't mean it cannot be you.

3. I believe in karma.

3.1. Most people never get what they deserve.

3.12. Most people get too much of what they don't deserve.

4. I'm OCD

4.1. I don't like people fucking my shit up just to get rid of my ocd.

4.2. I enjoy Purell.

4.21. As well as Altoids.

4.211. Garlic or dip does not lead to flattering breath.

4.2111. No one night stands.

5. I don't want to write my thesis

5.1. I enjoy research and reading and writing.

5.11. I never like to start

6. I am an enabler.

6.1. I quit smoking.

6.2. I can pay for my own drinks.

6.21. I like gin and tonic.

6.22. Tanqueray may get me drunk.

6.221. Tanqueray won't get you in my bed.

6.222. Unless I want you.

6.23. Unless you spiked the drink.

7. [insert something profound] or insert nothing at all


Pregnant Girl with PBR: I'd tell you my name and I would axes you whats yours is, but I'd forget yours in 5 minutes.
Me: It's okay. I've been trying to forget your face since I walked into the room.


Me: Want me to cut you?
T: This one on my leg is still healing!
Me: Where do you want me to do it?
T: This is getting weird. Real.
Me: Do we need to talk about this?
T (pausing movie): I don't want my actions to affect others. I don't do jealousy. (Looks at blackberry)
Me: Is that him texting you now?
T: Yes.


Me: Want me to come down?
T: 8:00 sharp! Don't be late boy and don't make me repeat myself! Oh my.
Me: K


Me: I like your suit.
Him: I love those pink shorts.
Me (losing balance on Metro): Want to try them on?


Me: You look familiar.
Project Runway Guy: I guess.
Me: Weren't you on Project Runway?
Project Runway Guy: Yes.
Me: Why aren't you standing getting your photo taken with that group of people from Project Runway.
Project Runway Guy: Guess they don't want my photo.
Me: Excuse me. Danny Pintauro is cruising me. (Walks away meeting Danny's eyes)


Guy: Tom Ford Tom Ford Tom Ford
Me: What?
Guy: Tom Ford. You look like Tom Ford
Me (suppressing myself from clapping like a dolphin): Thanks
Guy: Make out with me.
Me: Maybe later.


Me: Would you care to discuss Godfather?
Al Pacino: Francis did a great job on Part II.
Me: Who refers to Francis Ford Coppola as "Francis" except Al Pacino?
Al Pacino: No One
Bartender: No pictures.


Me: The lifeguard is hot.
E: Take a picture.


Me: What do strawberries taste like?
God: Oranges.